||[Jan. 15th, 2012|10:40 am]
last night was hella tight! at first, i was so fucking bored. the party was at my dealers flat and she declared it a no coke zone, and i took a few gravity bong hits, but nobody was very interesting and i zoned out on the couch until i started talking to a new friend, jessie! and jessie told me she had an AMAZING cocaine connection and we left the party early and scored! went back to jessie's apartment. we had sooo much fun. couple lines, 3 - 4 cigarettes. couple lines. 3 - 4 cigs. talked like crazy, we could not stop talking!! but when jessie asked me if i wanted to take half the leftover coke home, i said no, and when she asked me if i wanted to score some tomorrow, i said no. i even gave her all the cigarettes i had left.|
when i was coming down, i didnt crave more. i felt like i was relaxing.
i guess, after everything, i still like getting fucked up, but i dont do it addictively or habitually anymore. i indulge the part of me that wants to be a coked up chain smoker one night every couple months, and then i go back to the straightedge life.